31 weeks 3 days

realised that I don't have a picture of my pregnant self up, so here's one taken yesterday. The hair has gone shorter and shorter!



(more pics on drastic measures)

belly pic (you can see the stretch marks under the navel)



baby ultrasound
the greedy little thing was trying to lick the placenta or umbilical cord during her scan!!! she's now 1.7+ kg and growing according to target.



This little girl is getting stronger and more active by the day - I feel her hiccups, squirms and tiny limbs poking and scraping below the skin of my belly. Sometimes her movements extend really high, like my ribcage just under my boobs, and other times it almost feels like she's poking me in the crease where my thigh meets my torso. How on earth does she reach these places?!

She moves constantly, which is a good thing, and luckily, it doesn't bother me at all. I can happily sleep through it all. She's gaining mass in her bones each day so I guess the kicks will only get stronger. Despite me going "Ooh!" and "Ah!" suddenly along the street as I grab my tummy - (when she hits me at a particularly strange spot; just under the belly button being one of them) - I love the feel of every movement and seeing the tics in my belly.

Kisu finds it quite amusing too, but not to the same extent that I do. I never fail to be fascinated with each movement she makes - and it makes me happy and reassured that she's active and growing each day. I suppose this is something that only a mother, and not a father could understand.

I think I will miss it when she's out.

For all the ladies out there who are TTC (trying to conceive) and yet are scared or worried about pregnancy (sounds contradictory?) - don't be overly apprehensive. That was me! I am a person most afraid of pregnancy - I want a child but I don't know if I can deal with the sacrifices it calls for. Everything about it from the labour (pain, blood, cut down there!!!) to the bodily and hormonal changes scare me - look, I'm still struggling to come to terms with stretch marks! Sounds frivolous, but true - it's a struggle for me.

There's a reason why a baby takes 9 months to be formed. Each day as your baby grows bigger and more real to you - she's no longer just some blob on an ultrasound scan - somewhere along the way you will find the courage to face your fears and worries.

While I haven't gone through the entire pregnancy process, and I can't honestly tell you that "It was all worth it!" - I am increasingly looking forward to meeting my baby, even more so than my (initially thought insurmountable) fear of the labour and delivery process.

Amazing.