Changing Friendships

From http://www.babycenter.com/

"Having a new baby brings changes in your relationships with everyone — and that includes your friendships. Sometimes old friends who have no children are as delighted by your baby as you are, and aside from a few accommodations to your schedule, things continue as they once did. But others may not be as excited about your new phase of life. Some may be envious, others bored, and still others may simply have no interest in children. You can't blame your friends entirely. You're changing, too. Interests you once shared with certain people — skydiving, nightclubbing, shopping for shoes 'til you dropped — may no longer mesh with your new lifestyle.

The short of it, though, is to expect a certain amount of change in your friendships. You may drift apart from some pals, but at the same time your baby will bring you into the orbit of new friends. Through playgroups, mom support networks, and chance encounters, you and your partner will meet other new parents with whom you have a lot in common."

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The slightly bored, disinterested friend - that was me.

I struggle with kids. I watch in envy at the guy friend who effortlessly engages and entertains them - you know, the "gor gor" or uncle that all the kids want to tag along and hang around with. I can't make myself coo and fawn over babies like that instinctively maternal friend.

I find it hard to relate to children other than my own - and I still do despite being a mum. It's easier (I feel more natural and at ease) with babies because of my interaction with Ellis but I still feel oddly self conscious around kids. The conversation is stilted and unnatural, and their earnest and unexpected questions throw me off.

So I know what it's like to be that friend.

But now being the friend with the kid, I am sad for friendships that have changed, grateful for those that haven't, and happy for those that are new, and re-newed.